Raspberry Swirl
by Starbrigid
Summary: Three moments throughout Utena showcasing the complicated, understated relationship between Juri and Touga. Nonshipper.


Disclaimer- Utena, not mine.

  
  


Author's Note- A request. Contains song lyrics by Tori Amos, from her album "From the Choirgirl Hotel."

  
  


Raspberry Swirl

by Starbrigid

  
  


1. Pandora's Aquarium

  
  


I am not asking you

To believe in me

Boy I think you're confused

I'm not Persephone

She's in New York somewhere

Checking her accounts

The Lord of the Flies

Was diagnosed as Sound-

Pandora...

  
  


Touga and Juri were rarely alone together. Because, although neither of them may have consciously understood it, they were dangerous to one another.

  
  


Touga was particularly dangerous- a dangerous boy, hidden under the pretense of a prince. For he knew Juri's secret. He knew what hung under her uniform, whose picture was hidden under a layer of golden designs and an flower not yet blossomed. He knew what she was thinking of when she touched her chest and sighed, green eyes turning glazed and bright. There was knowledge in his voice, an undisguised sort of honey contempt when he inquired if she might have some kind of heart condition. She touched her chest so much, see.

  
  


And since it was only in front of Miki that he said such things, she couldn't reply back. A heart condition, huh? Maybe.

  
  


And if Juri had truly understood the game Touga played, she would have realized she was a risk to him, too. Her eyes were open when it came to him. She knew Touga wasn't a prince- his good looks and charisma had absolutely no effect on her, did not blind her at all.

  
  


The incurable playboy had long since gave up on trying to hit on Juri. She was out of reach. For once you knew her, the idea of doing anything of the sort was inconceivable. If it had been anyone else, winning her may have become a mission, a challenge (like it had with another prince), but this was JURI.

  
  


And so neither of them meant particularly much to one another. Neither of them could give the other what they wanted. Touga simply wanted everything, and someone like Juri was only just barely a part of that. Juri's universe consisted of Shiori. But-

  
  


Student council meetings without Miki, as few as they were, were always strange affairs. This was such a one.

  
  


"Why can't you just let it go?"

  
  


Juri shut her locket hurriedly. Every time Touga saw inside her locket, she felt- exposed. Weak.

  
  


"Why do you even care?" she asked. Why should he?

  
  


Touga shrugged. Between him and Juri, there was less pretenses than with other people. "Because I don't understand you."

  
  


There was a pause.

  
  


"Because you don't know what it's like to love someone," Juri whispered, eyes full of a dawning awareness Touga could never hope to breach.

  
  


"What IS it like?" Touga asked.

  
  


The balloons that drifted above them were all a whimsical, blushing shade of pink.

  
  


Juri tilted her head back, staring up into the wispy clouds and the pale sky. "Love? It's like- like bleeding to death."

  
  


"Bleeding?" Touga asked. He fingered his hair. Blood. Then he laughed, throwing it off. "I should talk to you more, I suppose. You always say the most interesting things."

  
  


"Yeah," Juri whispered.

  
  


Touga stretched and caught one of the pink balloons. He handed it to Juri. "A princess for a prince," he announced.

  
  


Juri flicked out a finger, calloused from fencing, and popped the balloon without blinking an eye.

  
  


The elevator doors slid open, and a puffing, red Kaoru Miki ran in. "Sorry I'm late! Sorry! Sorry! Kozue-chan, she-"

  
  


"It's okay, Mi-ki," Touga smiled. "No need to explain. Let's just get to work, shall we? I received a letter from End of the World." He pulled out an envelope. Juri's eyes narrowed, and Touga almost smirked. "Guess whose turn to duel it is?"

  
  


He raised a white rose, a challenge rose for his duel, and inhaled its sweet fragrance. It was delicious. Pure and beautiful, untouched. Love- blood- red, huh?

  
  


"White and red make pink."

  
  


2. Liquid Diamonds

  
  


Calling for my soul at the corners of the world

I know she's playing poker with the rest the rest

And if your friends don't come back to you

And you know this is madness

A lilac mess in your prom dress and you say

I guess I'm an underwater thing so I guess I can't take it personally

I guess I'm an underwater thing I'm liquid running, oh

There's a sea secret in me- it's plain to see it is rising

But I must be flowing, liquid diamonds, liquid-

I go I go inside her shell

I see it so 

And you're doing oh so well these days

You're doing oh so well-

  
  


"How are you doing these days, Touga?"

  
  


Better than he had been doing for the past few weeks, if he'd let Nanami drag him to a huge, crowded party like this. It was sure a big contrast to the exile inside the Kiryuu Mansion the former president had imposed upon himself.

  
  


Touga gave a smile that was disconcertingly pure Touga, the boy Juri had known before his defeat coming back for just a second. "How are YOU doing, Juri? I heard Tatatsuki Shiori returned."

  
  


Her hand unconsciously flew to her chest, but not for the same reason it had before. Not because of the LOCKET.

  
  


A heart condition.

  
  


She wondered if anyone had ever pulled a sword out of Touga's heart. She wondered if it would hurt as much for him as it had for her.

  
  


"Can't complain about how I'M doing. I asked first."

  
  


"My classical music collection really is quite fascinating."

  
  


"Saionji's returned to school," Juri pushed, wishing to see some sort of reaction, to see Touga, see what exactly had happened to him.

  
  


"Fascinating," Touga said dryly, clearly tiring of her. He had known. "If you'll excuse me-" He walked over to converse with Tenjou Utena and Himemiya Anthy. Juri watched him for the time he was over there, assessing him.

  
  


And no one noticed Sonoda Keiko, in a ridiculous, frilly party dress, peering into the window of the party longingly. Juri certainly didn't.

  
  


"I gave Tenjou Utena the sword she defeated you with," Juri blurted the moment Touga returned to her side. Such a conversation with Touga was like playing poker- keeping one's cards close to oneself, keeping your face blank, and not betraying your hand until you absolutely had to, then-

  
  


Game over.

  
  


"I know. I recognized the sword she used," Touga said, and something dark passed into his blue eyes. "You once fought me with that sword." He looked Juri straight in the eye. "It's a good sword. Do you intend to tell Tatatsuki how you feel?"

  
  


Shiori was somewhere in the party, talking to some acne-encrusted little boy. She danced unsteadily, off-balance, face stained with chocolate. She threw back a cup of water like a jug of beer, like a sacred chalice.

  
  


Saionji wasn't at the party.

  
  


Juri did the closest thing she came to snorting. "Oh, Touga, your 'defeat' hasn't changed you even a little."

  
  


"You think?" Touga asked. "Neh... Arisugawa? Do you ever think the two of us are a bit... similar?"

  
  


Her nose wrinkled. What the hell? "I'm nothing like you. At ALL."

  
  


"Neh, then... would you like me to return to the student council?" he asked, eyes boring into her.

  
  


"Anyone would be better than your little sister as president," Juri said bluntly. She didn't like Nanami. She normally wouldn't say so out loud, but in front of Touga, honesty in the end was best. No need to hide.

  
  


Miki and the mentioned Nanami, upon inspection, were talking about something together, standing right at the center of the party. Nanami was giving some sort of dramatic speech, while Miki looked surprised and put off, the picture of complete, adorable innocence.

  
  


"I don't think I will return to the student council, though," Touga said. "Good day, Juri. You may not see me for a while. I'm going in. Give Nanami my regards, it was a nice party."

  
  


He slipped away unnoticed, the exact same way Nanami's henchwoman had slipped away unnoticed from the window.

  
  


Juri left the party late, walking alongside Miki, chatting about fencing. It had started to rain, but she had no umbrella. She'd brought one, of course, having seen the weather, but she had noticed Shiori had forgotten hers, so she had left her orange one for the girl to find and use. She wondered if Shiori knew the umbrella was from Juri. Should she care? She refused Miki's offer to share his umbrella her, walking in the rain. The drops flowed over her skin, clouding her eyes.

  
  


She had always loved water.

  
  


A few days later, Touga got caught in the rain, just as she did. Sonoda Keiko offered to share her umbrella with him, and he stepped under it without speaking, accepting a simple kindness.

  
  


A few days after that, Keiko pulled a sword out of Touga, and Juri's hand jerked, the pencil she had been using in class breaking.

  
  


Her chest hurt.

  
  


3. Raspberry Swirl

  
  


I am not your señorita

I am not from your tribe

If you want inside her well

Boy you better make her raspberry swirl-

Things are getting desperate

When all the boys can't be men

Everybody knows I'm her friend

Everybody knows I'm her man...

  
  


"Care for a sparring match?"

  
  


Juri looked up from practicing her fencing. Touga stood there at the door. How long had he been watching her?

  
  


"What do you want? Are you going to try to make me duel?"

  
  


"Where did you get that idea?" Touga asked, looking genuinely puzzled. He was one hell of a good actor.

  
  


"Miki told me a little about what HIS motivations for dueling were," Juri snapped. She swung forward with her fencing foil. Underneath her uniform, her locket swung with her.

  
  


Touga shrugged gracefully, then, as if on a whim, pulled a tape recorder out of his pocket and pressed the play button. A haunting melody echoed throughout the fencing hall. It was a bittersweet, painful, nostalgic, and almost desperate song, as if wishing for what had been before. Wishing for something very much like a miracle, too. But you could never go back-

  
  


Goodbye, Shiori.

  
  


And there was something about it that said all this wasn't over, either. Not by a long shot. There was much, much more to come.

  
  


"Mi-ki wrote this song," he informed Juri.

  
  


Juri pushed the stop button on the tape player. The music ground to a halt. "What do you want with me, Touga?"

  
  


"I already told you," he smiled. "A fencing match."

  
  


She'd need practice for what was coming.

  
  


"No," Juri said without hesitation.

  
  


Too bad.

  
  


"Afraid I might beat you?"

  
  


"No. That's not the reason. I just don't feel like it. I don't like fighting you."

  
  


"You know, things may not turn out the way you think they will, Arisugawa. With me, with the duels, with you- you think you're next in the sequence, but- You may see a surprise coming your way."

  
  


"Go away, Touga, I'm busy."

  
  


She wasn't interested.

  
  


"Arisugawa, what do you think a miracle is, really?"

  
  


Seeing no response, he left, forgetting the tape recorder.

  
  


Juri pulled out the tape from it, stared at the label.

  
  


Prelude to First Movement.

  
  


And the first movement's name was?

  
  


Whispering in the Dark, you see.

  
  


Juri changed out of her fencing uniform. She went to her and Ruka's old place. Sure enough, she heard whispering. It wasn't dark, yet, though. The sky was a brilliant blue.

  
  


***

  
  


Two shadows in off time stood, conversing. For once they wore no disguises.

  
  


"I'm bored. Nothing's going on," one complained.

  
  


"It's all for the best. I can't think of any creative things to say, anyway," the second one pointed out.

  
  


"You're boring, you. I, I, I have plenty of ideas."

  
  


They often mock-fought like this, gently taunting. They were comfortable enough with one another to.

  
  


"But when I come up with an idea, it's much better than any of yours."

  
  


"Does it matter?" A strange, unaccustomed bitterness crept into her tone. "Nobody hears it but the two of us, anyway."

  
  


"I think Utena-sama hears us." Of course. Utena-sama. They always ended up talking about Utena-sama.

  
  


"'Do you know? Do you know? Have you heard the news?'" A self-derisive snort. "Why would she want to?"

  
  


A bit of childishness crept into B-ko's voice. "Because we know what's to come."

  
  


"Ever heard of Cassandra, from Greek myths?"

  
  


A-ko always ended up quoting from Greek myths, for she loved them so much, and B-ko never let her put them in the shadow plays. For this wasn't what came before. This was new. A revolution. 

  
  


"Heh, good point. We could come up with a good play about her, you know."

  
  


Or... maybe not.

  
  


A-ko was flabbergasted for a second, then she quickly spoke, making the best of B-ko's sudden revisal. "The trouble is, Arisugawa Juri has nothing to do with that failing, disbelieved oracle."

  
  


"Yeah," B-ko whispered. "She's silent."

  
  


"What about the new one, then? The new duelist?"

  
  


"I don't know. How about his Rose Bride?"

  
  


"You know, I think Greek myths are too serious for us after all. How about something about fishing?"

  
  


It began.

  
  


***

  
  


Ruka and Shiori kissed, and Juri watched, clutching her chest.

  
  


What WAS a miracle, really?

  
  


***

  
  


The Shadow Play Girls went fishing, unsuccessfully.. They came up with a kettle, then a tire. No dinner for them tonight.

  
  


Across campus, Tenjou Utena triumphed over Tsuchiya Ruka. His rose bride, Tatatsuki Shiori, screamed, her car coming to a halt.

  
  


The next day, Ruka dumped her.

  
  


***

  
  


Hidden in her room, Tatatsuki Shiori listened to music. She'd only been listening to her own crying for so long, she needed to hear something else. She should probably come out, but-

  
  


If Ruka didn't want her, what did she have to live for? Juri had won.

  
  


She switched the radio on, and some old English song began, sung high and haunting by a female singer. The woman had a beautiful voice, but Shiori's English was limited. Of all of what was sung, the only word she could understand was-

  
  


Blue.

  
  


***

  
  


Touga watched as Akio's car drove away with Juri in it. Something in him felt strangely regretful.

  
  


Ah, it was probably just the strangeness of seeing Tsuchiya in his place. But THAT wouldn't last for long.

  
  


Maybe after all this was over, he'd take Arisugawa to visit Tsuchiya's grave.

  
  


***

  
  


Touga continued to watch.

  
  


The duel had happened, this time with Arisugawa's rose falling. Only it hadn't just ended that simply. Something had changed, for Tatatsuki ran after Arisugawa, and Arisugawa did not slow down for her.

  
  


"Juri!" he called.

  
  


The orange-haired girl turned. There was something different about her now.

  
  


A miracle.

  
  


Touga smiled and clapped. "Congratulations."

  
  


***

  
  


Tatatsuki was crying on Touga's shoulder. "And she won't even notice me now!" the girl finished, sobbing on him, snot pouring out of her nose in a repulsive manner. "God, I love her so much! Why won't she see me!"

  
  


"She's too good for you," Touga whispered. "For me, too. But I'm willing to take a dip in the mid every once in the while, Tatatsuki. Want me to make you forget Arisugawa Juri ever existed?"

  
  


***

  
  


"There was a reason they all ignored Cassandra, you know."

  
  
  
  


***

  
  


~finis~

  
  
  
  



End file.
